Subscription Conniption

Oh it's that time of year again...time to shamelessly listen to the Harry Connick Jr. Christmas Album non-stop...over and over again... (key word shamelessly).

The holidays are just around the corner and that means its time to give the gift of money to the airline companies.  Airplanes are expensive folks...especially around the holidays.  I still don't understand how they get off the ground with hundreds of people and literally tons of suitcases.  But here's my money airplane companies....  See you in Jersey.

In one of my usual whine fests at work I was fussing over the costs of flights when a co-worker told me that she had hundreds of thousands of frequent flyer points saved up and had been meaning to use them but didn't get around to it until after a couple weeks and in between the time she originally thought of it and when she finally go to looking them up....they all expired.

AHHHHHHhhhhhh vicariously frustrated!

Note to self: go home and check airline miles immediately.

Coincidentally when I arrived home that evening I had a letter in the mail saying my 10,000 Hilton rewards points were expiring in the next few days if I didn't use them.  Oh heck no! I am using them right now!  The pamphlet says I can use my points to sign up for some magazine subscriptions.  Going through the list I pick out AFAR (my friend's new awesome travel magazine--check it out!) for myself and The Economist for my economist-to-be husband-to-be.

That was easy!

Buuuuuuut that only took up 3,000 points... Crud.  What else am I going to get?!

Then I notice you can also send them as gifts.  Perfect!  That's fun!  Well....  I guess it's a nice idea, but now I have to think about who to give them to or not give them to?  That seems like a lot of work.  Might take a lot of time. Don't really want to think too much...Plus once I figure who to send them to .... then I'll need addresses!  I don't even know where anybody lives anymore... honestly no idea.  You think I'd have everyone's address all in one place?  I think not.  Too much work.  Don't want to think about other people or look for addresses right now.  Will just pick out magazines for me.

Self

Health

Allure

Fast Company

Sports Illustrated

Wow so many gifts for me!  The tally gets up to 8 magazines... close to fulfilling my 10,000 point quota.  Seems like a lot of magazines.  I wonder what else I could get with my points.  Just magazines?  Or do they want you to think you can only get magazines when in reality you can get an ipad or a digital camera or a trip to Sea World?

I check the Hilton rewards website.  Screw you magazine offers, I'm getting something good!!!

They have all the above mentioned options plus many, many, many more!  Computers, TVs, patio furniture, jewelry, baby toys, you name it they got it....for like 500,000 points!

Seriously the only thing I could afford with my 10,000 points was a magnet or a crappy bracelet, or picture frame coasters.  How are either one of those things similar in value to 7 one year magazine subscriptions?! 7 magazines once a month for a year ...at $4 a magazine that's worth like what? $336?!!  (I used a calculator)

But forget their cheap-o merchandise.  I'm getting my money's worth....back to magazine subscriptions.

I pick out the subscriptions again.  I'm doing mental math every time I rearrange combinations of subscriptions so I can get every last cent our of my points.  And by "doing mental math"  I mean I'm adding 1500 +1500 = 3000 then +1800 = 4800 then +1500= losing my mind!! AHH grrr I can't do this mental math!! Where's a calculator?! Oh forget it I don't even want the magazines!   Then Trevor chimes in and says "What? what's wrong? Just tell me the numbers. 1500+1500+1800+1500+2000+1700 = 10000 obviously... there, there now...."  We finally settle the tally at 10,000 and I cannot wait to check out and be done with this whole process...then I look back over my list....

Seriously what am I going to do with all these magazines?!  Just the thought of knowing they're coming... The thought that I am going to have to read them or will feel guilty for not reading them...the thought that if I don't read them before I get the next issue (which I won't), I won't read the next issue either because everything should be read in chronological order...and I will feel all the more guilty that I have stacks and stacks of unread magazines that I must sit down and read some day and....I'll be drowning in magazines.... and drowning in guilt... and omg our recycling bin would be overflowing...I can't do this!!!!!

But I can't just throw out my points.  Must get my money's worth.  Must chill out.  Must give magazines away.  Now to find some addresses... Fret, fret, fret... I have no idea where to find everyone's addresses!?  I never sent them anything from amazon, nor ebay.  I check old text messages, zoom in on areas in google maps.  It's too late to call cause they're all east coast.  Grrrrr.  Then the voice of reason (and by reason I mean Trevor) chimes in..."Didn't you start a wedding guest list with everyone's addresses?"....oh why yes I did thank you very much!

Magazines are on their way.  Now I can relax.

Today, Trevor gets a letter in the mail from American Airlines.  Another warning letter that his 15,000 points are about to expire and would he like to exchange them for magazine subscriptions before it's too late?


Pop!

(Head explosion)