Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Photo Contest, Ceremony Edition

Today's photo compilation are compliments of my BFF and wedding hair dresser Heather, my cousin Brian, my former roommate Matt, some more from BFF and photographer Serena, and an air shot from Rutgers pal Ben Treder (anyone I forgot?).

In semi-chronological order and intermixed with commentary about planning a wedding ceremony, here are my favorite ceremony shots:

So we picked the Evans to be our wedding officiants.  Now what?  Oh right, now we have to figure out what we want them to say.  Something about us, something about love (barf), something funny.... Let's focus on the funny.  Evan and Evan are both really funny in very different ways.  Let's play on that....

One Evan had officiated other friends' wedding in the past.  He was very emotional while officiating their ceremony... so touching... all the single ladies were curious afterwards if he had a significant other (he does).

So I wanted to put some mushy, touchy excerpts in there to see if we could reignite Mr. Sentimental.  It almost worked... We definitely got a sniffle!...But it was mostly laughs.
Who wouldn't want to be married by two Evans?

We asked our good friend Emanuel to do our ceremony music. He is a real rock star.

 We picked the poem Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog because it's cute a funny and light-hearted.  And because we had a lot of dog lovers in the crowd.  But really we picked it because there is a line in the poems that reads "Is love good all the time? No! No!  Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love."  After I read the poem out loud to Trevor he said "I can totally picture Meg saying that."   ..Done and done!

We also wanted to have the Evans tell a story.  None of this "Love is patient.  Love is kind" stuff.  Nothing against the traditional route, and not to say that love is impatient and mean, but I felt that if we didn't do something a little more original, we might be a real let down. Whether they actually existed or not, I could hear the expectations of others building in my head... Come on, this is Trevor and Julie, right? This is Macho Man and Jim Carrey dressed as a women's workout instructor on steroids, right?

Do you think these two would have a traditional wedding? choose A) Yes or B) No

And B is the winner!

So we asked the Evans to find a relevant children's story.  They came back with a summarized version of Shel Silverstein's The Missing Piece Meets the Big O and added some friendly banter to it.  

There’s a piece of a circle, a little wedge, and it meets all sorts of Pacman-looking circles.  The wedge asks each Pacman if it is the missing piece that would complete the wedge’s circle. None of them fit. Eventually, this one full circle comes along.  It doesn’t have a missing piece. And, what’s more, this whole circle tells the wedge that it is not a missing piece from a whole. Instead, it is a complete circle, and can grow and change shape and roll along, all on its own. So the wedge gives it a try. And eventually the wedge wears down its sharp edges and learns to roll.  

When we group-skyped to figure out the ceremony structure and read the story out loud, we felt that it was quick (which was good because we wanted a short ceremony) but that if people zoned out they might miss the whole story.   The pictures in the book really do it justice.  Maybe we have a big pad of paper up there and draw the whole thing out like Shel?  Not enough space...  The next best solution: cardboard cut outs!  

Then we said our vows.  I did the serious ones because I am more serious about this marriage than Trevor.  Just kidding.  I did the serious ones because all you have to do is say "I do" or instantly repeat the 5-word-sentence that one of the Evan's just said out loud.  100% sincerity with minimal effort and minimal air time in front of thousands of people (less talking lowers your chance of vomiting).  Trevor did the Dr. Seuss vows because he really likes puking, I mean talking and telling jokes.  His vows went something (I mean exactly) like this:

ELue: Trevor, place your ring on Julie’s finger.

ELue: Trevor, will you answer now
These questions, as your wedding vow?

Trevor: Yes, I will answer now
Your questions as my wedding vow.

ELue: Do you take Julie as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?

Trevor: Yes, I take Julie as my wife,
Yes, I will love her all my life.

ELue: Will you have, and also hold
When you are young and when you are old?

Trevor: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
While I am young and when I am old,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

ELue: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether happy or sometimes sad?

Trevor: Yes, I will love through good and bad,
Whether happy or sometimes sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife.

ELue: Will you love her if you are rich?
Or if you are poor, and in a ditch?

Trevor: Yes, I will love her if we are rich,
And I will love her if in a ditch,
I will love her through good and bad,
Whether we are happy or we are sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold

Julie: I swear this line has already been told!

Trevor: I promise to love her all my life
This woman as my lawful wife!

ELue: Will you love her when you are fit?
Will you love her when you are sick?

Trevor: Yes, I will love her when we are fit,
And when we are hurt, and when we are sick,
And I will love her if we are rich 
or if we are poor and in a ditch.
I will love through good and bad,
I will love when glad or sad,
I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love her all my life
This lovely woman as my wife!

ELue: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death do you part?

Trevor: Yes, I will love with all my heart
From now until death do we part,
And I will love her when we're rich,
And when we're broke and in a ditch,
And when we're fit, and when we're sick,

Julie: Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?

Trevor: And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
I fear this joke is getting old,
I will love her my whole life,
Please let me take her as my wife!

ELue: If you will take her as your wife,
And if you will love her all your life,
And if you will have, and if you will hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you will love her through good and bad,
When you are happy and when you are sad,
And when you are poor, and when in wealth,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And if you will love her with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you will love her through and through,
Please answer with these words: I DO

Trevor: I DO! 

A couple days before the wedding, Trevor and I met the Evans a to go over the final version of ceremony.  we iron out the kinks and decide all is well.  About to sign off when someone realizes..."hey when does the part about the rings happen?"   Oooooooh yeaaaa we should probably write in something about putting wedding bands on each others fingers during our WEDDING CEREMONY... So we write in some last minute blurb about putting rings on each other's fingers (minor detail).

But it would have been a whole missed opportunity if we hadn't written them in... Little did we or anyone else in attendance know that the Best Man had plans of his own....

Let me preface this next part by saying that this is the same Best Man who the week of the wedding realized he had forgotten to buy his girlfriend an airline ticket and had to pay $XXXX amount of money for last minute airfare.  The same Best Man who didn't receive his suit until the day before he left for the wedding (way to go Jos. A Bank!) and then almost left said suit in the airport terminal while boarding his plane.  The same Best Man who managed to get an emergency hem job done on his suit pants only then to discover a cigarette-sized burn hole through his suit jacket and through his white suit shirt on the day of the wedding! 

So when this Best Man, who is having the unluckiest week of his life, reached into his pocket to deliver the rings, it only seemed fitting that he would lose his handle on the ring box and send the rings careening over the 20 ft tower and into the Trout Lake waters below.  When he looked at Trevor and I in despair, I was first confused, then shocked, then had this bizarre moment of acceptance, and then I basically just felt sympathy for this very unlucky Best Man.  The scene below us however, was a bit more chaotic. The more popular reaction to "the drop" was.. We must save the rings!  After an initial gasp, several members of the audience leave their chairs looking to assist, and my pregnant sister and pregnant sister-in-law--whom we strategically placed at the bottom of the tower to reduce any risk of injury--started to make a b-line for the water!  The Best Man tries desperately to get our attention, and when we finally look over we see him standing there holding up his hand, laughing his head off.  Both of the rings are on his fingers!  Once we realize it has all been a trick, Trevor yells out to the panicked crowd "he has the rings."  Luckily for the Best Man, it came just in time to save the pregnant sister duo from plunging into the lake to retrieve an empty box. Well played Damian!
After the ceremony, the Manager from Trout Lake told Trevor that his Best Man was "one sick individual."

The crowd settles back into their seats and the ceremony moves on...

The first question one of the Evans asked after he agreed to be our officiants, was "Can we say that part about if anyone has any reason these two should not be married.. and then actually have someone interrupt?  Yes, yes we can.

At this suggestion I was starting to get really excited about the ceremony.  This is going to be one big fun party.  But as the day kept crawling closer and closer I started thinking, this is getting silly.  An interrupter?  What if someone thinks they are serious and gets offended?  If they get offended by that, they are definitely going to get offended by the "love is like a dog" poem, and will definitely get offended that the props from my wedding are made from garbage, and will definitely get offended that I didn't get flowers for the bridal party, and that I had an outdoor wedding, and it's probably going to rain and thunderstorm and we have a plan for rain but NOT for thunderstorms!!  Please god don't let it thunderstorm!!!!  

A month before the wedding on our cross country trip, we stopped by one of Trevor's highschool friend's house in Pennsylvania.  We told him about the wedding and that we were thinking of having an someone interrupt (in Dr. Seuss fashion).  His reply was, "You should totally get Bill to do that, he would nail it!"  So we did...and he nailed it...

"... Through and through, I know it is true.  I am in love with one of these two! ..."
Then for a final reading we had our good friend Matt read, you guessed it, a passage from Dr. Seuss.

"Today you are you, that is truer than true.  There is no one alive who is youer than you. You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  You're on your own, and you know what you know, and you are the ones who'll decide where to go."

Then we made out in public...a big step for us:
and hopefully no one was offended...

And then we lived happily ever after...

Especially immediately after...

(to be continued)

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Boston or Bust! (but first, finding a home and moving's a must!)

Back to last spring...

Two weeks after my nervous-break-down-of-a-trip last June when I failed to find us an apartment in Cambridge, Trevor was back in the Boston area for another conference.  I had 3 days with nothing to do but look at all the apartments I could possibly handle (which ended up being two) and came home empty handed.  Trevor had 4 days to look at as many apartments as he could possibly handle (which ended up being around 10) on top of having to attend a conference all day long.  He also came home empty handed, however, the very next day after his return we were offered the first apartment he looked at (Trevor 1; Julie 0).

Hooray, Hoorah!  Crisis averted!  After beating out 31 other applicants, and after offering to sign a 2 year lease, and after offering to pay and extra $100 a month, we have a new home!!!  Whoopeeeee!!!  Now we can focus on other things....like this wedding... We still need to figure out what the bridesmaids are wearing, and what Trevor and his brother are wearing, and what kind of food there will be, and who will be the DJ, and where will we put the tent, and what will we do if it rains, and where are we going to get a dance floor, and what will be our first dance song, and whether or not we going to have a cake, and figure out how to make this legal, and write this ceremony, and make a bouquet, and block off more hotel rooms, and find a shuttle bus, and figure out a rehearsal dinner venue....(!)  First things first though, we need to move across this great big country in the next month!

Planning the move was probably the easiest piece of this chaotic pie.  Things are easy when you blatantly do not do them.  Trevor and I had briefly chatted here and there about the best route and who we wanted to see and what we wanted to do.  I suspect he put a lot more effort into actually planning it than I did.  I was overly consumed with angst about everything else and was especially worried about not having a job (or more importantly a reliable income).  So  I wanted to work up until the very last day.  We decided we would leave Santa Barbara on a Saturday.  Therefore my last day of work would be the Friday before.

We got rid of most of our big furniture during our last week there.

Including this gem of a couch that came from Trevor's undergrad Rutgers apartment where 6+ dudes and 2 kittens lived.  I also believe it drops rat poop out of it when you shake it.  We sold it to college guys for $50.  It is going back to live and hopefully die in college housing.  Such a happy moment.

I said my sad good-byes to my co-workers and walked my box of cubicle nick knacks out the front door with tears in my eyes.  

I didn't have too much time to cry because on my way home I had to stop by the U-Haul store to pick up the trailer.  The U-Haul man shockingly tells me our 2004 Toyota Corolla cannot drag a trailer across the country.  I tell him we did it before in 2006.  He asks if we had any problems?  I say no.  He hooks it up.

Meanwhile, back at the apartment the place looks exactly how it looked when I left home that morning:

This "tree," which Trevor calls a weed, was not in our backyard when we moved in.

The apartment quickly deteriorates into boxes stacked everywhere, kitchen cabinets and closets all open, garbage bags, shoes, bikes, heaps of trash, guitars, clothes, pots and pans, books and cleaning supplies strewn all over the floor... one big mess.  Luckily our very good friends came by with In-and-Out Burgers and Miguel helped Trevor pack the trailer while Ichiko helped me pack the last of the boxes and clean the kitchen.  They hung out till after midnight which was way more than generous.  At that time, Trevor says he has to go pack up some of the "things" in his office.  He leaves, while I continue packing and move on to, you guessed it, more cleaning...

He returns shortly after.  Wow, that was quick!  Yea, well uh, he got to school, but couldn't find his keys, so...... This is after we have locked the 4x8x4ft trailer full of unmarked boxes containing everything under the sun that we have ever possibly owned.  If you don't have your keys...  Where the heck are they!?  In the trailer!?!

 Forget about the keys, we move on to cleaning out the cabinets, scrubbing down the tub and the toilet, dusting all the window sills, vacuuming the carpets, mopping the floors, cleaning out the oven, washing the scuff marks off the walls...

At 4am we lay down on the floor in what once was our bedroom for a four hour nap.  At 8am we awake to clean out the refrigerator, take out the trash, and meet with our landlord.  Then we leave our empty apartment for the last time...

We stop at our friends' house for brunch (about 3 hours later than anticipated) and say some more fond farewells...  But again, there is not much time for crying (just a little bit of crying), because we still have to figure out how to get into Trevor's office to pack up "some things."

Trevor calls his soon-to-be-former-office-mate and we stop by his house to borrow his office key.  Then we drive to Trevor's office and park our whole life in the UCSB parking lot.  We both trudge up to his office, open the door, and alas there are his keys, right on his desk where he left them.  We start cleaning out "some things" which actually means cleaning out his whole entire office.  One file cabinet, a huge bookcase, 5 huge garbage bags of paper waste, 6 trips to and from the car, and one twenty minute nap on a pile of old economic textbooks later and we are ready to hit the road!....8 hours later than anticipated.

Good-Bye SB!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Guess What? Yup, More Wedding Nostalgia

As I sit here attempting to chronicle some comical stories about my transition from excitement to horror with this whole wedding planning process, I have come to realize that a) my stories aren't at all unique b) even though it's over and was worth it, I still get anxiety just thinking about wedding planning and c) Buzzfeed has perfectly put together the timeline I was going for.

Every last word of it...so true.  But I'm still glad we did it...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Photo Contest, Part 2, The Prenupital Party

And this is when I go on a Serena-thanking-spree:

To be continued...