Brought to you by one year of non-blogging by way of focusing on writing this one single speech... here it is, my matron of honor toast from my sister, Colleen's wedding.... Enjoy!.... and then, enjoy again!
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| The Baby Bride, Colleen a.k.a. "Weener" |
Hi everyone....(nervous).... I'm scared of heights but not as much as I am scared of public speaking. So I thought by convincing Greg (the best man) of being up so high in the rafters (we tried to do the speech from the second story balcony but the microphone wouldn't work) that would make this public speaking thing a bit easier..... (more nervous...worried that my logic doesn't make sense and starting to sense the crowd's empathetic fear for me... gte it together...stop shaking....)
First off, I would like to thank all the friends and family for being here today....
Thanks to our mom and dad, Mary Ellen and Paul, and to Mike's parents, Lynn and Dennis, for bringing these two wonderful people into our world. And especially thank you, Colleen, for honoring me as your matron of honor tonight.
In case you couldn't tell I am Colleen's sister. We often get mistaken for twins or confused for each other since people say we look alike... so I made sure to wear a different color dress tonight so that at least Mike and Trevor wouldn't get confused which one is their wife... (Mike-yours is in the sparkly white dress / long hair ; and Trevor - pale pink dress, shorter hair;)
Yes, the Erickson girls all look similar, we laugh similarly, we're about the same height, about the same weight and about the same foot size (changes to "shoooooe size" in actual speech). At face value it's hard to tell a difference, but at our core we each have very unique personality traits that set us apart.
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From left to right: Jamie (friendship tattoo friend); Rosalie (other friendship tattoo friend); Lauren (new sister in-law who not-so-surprisingly (fellow oldest sister) seems to possess the angelic behavior and stunning looks of our older sister Bridget; both of whom can easily be mistaken for Princess Kate; the Baby Bride Weener, myself (the weird sister), Nancy (the competitive sister), Bridget (the "angel" child sister), and Adalyn (the next generation "Erickson" girl) |
There's Bridget.... with the angelic behavior who always seemed to have our parents wrapped around her finger and some how manages to make life-long friends everywhere she goes.
Then there's Nancy.... who has a reputation for competitiveness, taking on an insane amount of challenges with her work and family life, constantly busy but always seeming to have control (ad lib line about her children crying during the ceremony...).
There's me, the quirky one, who prides myself on thrift store purchases and trying to make people laugh, and often walking slightly off the beaten path....
... and then there's Colleen....the BABY... who like Bridget has an extra special place in our parents' heart. And like Bridget has made and held on to all the good friends she's come in contact with from St Benedict's, Hazlet Recreation, Allied Health, Rutgers, rugby, Hoboken, Macy's, Lucky Vitamin, and Philadelphia.
Like Nancy, Colleen has a super competitive and fearless nature as evident in her selection of rugby as her sport of choice and her taking on a leadership role in the group.
Like me she enjoys a good flea market purchase and always seems to feel secure in her own skin (semi-sarcastically).
Colleen seems to possess the best of each of us and she also brings out the best in all of us... and not just her sisters.
Assuming you know Colleen you know what I am talking about. I could rattle off her accomplishments to try to illustrate her impressiveness. But the most impressive thing about her is the way she makes you feel about yourself (in semi-sarcastic/semi-uncomfortable tone while being semi-sentimental)... when she's around I always feel a little less stressed, a little more happier, a little more funnier.
Now since Colleen and Mike have set their wedding date in early November on this historical election year... I thought it would be especially appropriate to draw some parallels between some of the obstacles Colleen and Mike will face in marriage, and some of the political obstacles we have been exposed to in the Clinton-Trump debates. Imagine for a minute that Colleen is Hillary Clinton and Mike is Donald Trump....
Just kidding...
Marriage advice number 1: always leave politics out of large family gatherings.... especially when there's an abundance of free alcohol involved.
Back to how I first met Colleen....
Colleen was my first best friend, the first person I have felt personally responsible for, my one and only baby sister... I was very happy when she was born as I now had someone I could dote on, and play with, and teach things....and that I now had an ally in the sibling rivalry with my older sisters Bridget and Nancy .. My first favorite year of life was when both Bridget and Nancy had to go away to school and Colleen and I would play by ourselves in their room breaking their toys and trying on their clothes.
Colleen and I were always close...We shared a room together with bunk beds for a long time... when we got older we started sleeping on the couches together in the playroom watching tv or staying up late talking about life and hiding secrets from mom.
While our older sisters Bridget and Nancy were off exhibiting model citizens behavior with their straight-laced honor roll report cards, student council elections, key club memberships, and prom queen crowns, I took Colleen under my wing.... and encouraged her to listen to Marilyn Manson, dye her hair crazy colors, nearly shave her head, pierce her lip and nose, and start drinking a little earlier than legally allowed.... But as a testament to her wonderful multi-faceted personality and demeanor... she still got into the honor high school... and also went on to be homecoming and prom queen just like her oldest straight-laced sisters...
So although I tried my best to corrupt her, and in many ways I succeeded, Collleen still managed to maintain the role model behavior of Bridget and Nancy... and arguably turned into the most well rounded out of all of us.
And for that I couldn't have been more proud....
I myself never got to be prom queen... but I went to a much larger public school... so there was a lot more competition.... and ya know I didn't even really want to be prom queen anyway...
Growing up I felt a personal responsibility to teach Colleen everything I learned although it was often at the unintentional expense of causing her premature emotional distress... I told her Elvis was dead... I told her Santa Claus was fictional... and I told her that when she grows up and turns into a woman in a few short years she was going to start bleeding out of her butt...
So I believe she developed into a much more realistic understanding of the world because of me.
Colleen has always lived up to the stereotypical youngest child baby personality
1) Youngest children resent not being taken seriously....
Even as a toddler she'd be sucking on her white wrinkled little thumb and snuggling her blankly and mom would say something to her in a baby voice and she'd cowl back "Duh!! Don't you think I don't know that?!"
2) Youngest children are the stereotypical "free spirit" types...
Colleen freely embraced the nickname "WEENER" from childhood into adulthood....
She went and got friendship tattoos with her buddies...
And she has a reputation of being very loose with planning ...As I compared notes with other bridesmaids and family members for this wedding, there was a common theme of "ok so you don't really know what's going on either". And it's not in a sense of neglect or intentional lack of communication... it's just details around planning that just aren't necessary or important to her. She has a lot of faith in things working out as they often do for her.
3) Parents are often less cautious with the youngest child...
For instance one of Colleen's first word was stuck... she was a baby and couldn't say much but when she'd wake up from a nap and she'd often yell "stuck"!...meaning "help mom my leg is trapped in the crib come get me out cause I know you are ignoring the baby monitor..."
I also have fond memories of feeding Colleen cookie-shaped dog food. You may think that makes me a horrible sister, but don't worry, I was eating them right there with her.
I was also right there with her when I coaxed her into sticking beads up her nose ...resulting in a causal emergency room visit....stuck....
4) Youngest children are the charmers and are naturally entertaining...
Colleen was always good at impressions growing up and always knew how to make us laugh... she always did a good Elvis impersonation... "Bebe" (said in Elvis accent).... she also had a good mother Theresa impression where she'd wrap her blanket around her head and say (in an old, squeeky high pitched voice)..."I, Mother Theresa, must save the children of Calcutta"... She also had an impression of mom which she must have picked up shortly after tax season...picking up a receipt of mom's and exclaiming "what the hell is this?!" (in mean mom voice)
When me and Bridget and Nancy grew up and moved on to college, Colleen still managed to entertain herself ... when she had no one to play with, she somehow managed to train the dog how to play hide and seek with her.
7) Parents are typically less rule oriented with the youngest...
When I got grounded I would have no phone, no TV, and no friends until the original agreed-to time had expired. When Colleen got grounded she would give mom the silent treatment and within a day or two had somehow guilted Mom to take her out shopping to buy her things...
She also managed to stay on Mom's car insurance and have Mom pay her phone bill way longer than the rest of us.. Although Mom just yesterday informed me that now Mom is on Colleen's phone plan... so Congratulations Mary Ellen!
And then there's Mike.....
We didn't know what to think of Mike at first.... We weren't sure how he would fit in... Judging by the rest the Erickson girls' choice of mate.... about 6 feet tall ... (insert crowd laughs)....and ever so slightly receding hairline... (zing!),.... Mike didn't exactly fit the physical mold..... Because Mike is what? just about 5'11 and three quarters? (he is not) and WOW that hair!! (Mike has awesome, jealous-able hair)
Mike is a fellow middle child, like me. And us "middles" often get a bad rap for being the overshadowed, jealous, "that's not fair," black sheep types...But not Mike ( and not me either).
We have all the positive personality perks of middle children types, without the bad stuff...
1) Middle children are the social butterflies of the family
People are constantly at Mike's house and I feel like every time we go there we meet a new set of friends and leave thinking.. "wow those are really good, fun people." (should have thought of better adjectives... "good" and "fun" are understatements...) And he also maintains these life-long friends from all stages of life.
2) Middle children are team players
And with Mike it's not just on soccer field. When Mike started coming around to family gatherings he would always be pitching in, making a point to bring extra cigars for the guys, showing up at Thanksgiving with a deep fryer and cooking the turkey, showing up at Carstens' slip and slide baby's shower and breaking out the soap... ya know to make the slip and slide extra slippery....
3) Middle children have a lot of patience
We are used to having to wait our turn... and from a fellow middle child who also married a youngest child I can tell you this virtue comes in handy as these youngest child types are prone to losing keys, forgetting their phone or wallet, and generally running late to everything. Patience, my dear, patience....
4) Middle children are also very adventurous, and risk-taking.
Now what is more adventurous then marrying into a family full of women?!
Or buying a brand new house in the ghetto?
Or planning a wedding with a family full of women at the exact same time as buying a house in the ghetto all while adopting a pit bull puppy with an eating disorder?!
Now I'd like to offer Colleen and Mike some advice for your marriage based on your birth order (compliments of eharmony.com)
For Colleen...
As the baby in a relationship, your youngest child personality offers all sorts of fun and excitement. Throughout your marriage, Mike can always count on you to find spontaneous, unexpected ways to amp up the excitement. Always use your social skills for good; and be careful not to abuse your powers (i.e. do not take advantage of your middle child husband).
For Mike....
As a middle child you are well on your way to being a very good partner. Since middle children are the least likely to have been spoiled in any way, you are likely more willing to work hard to create a happy and meaningful relationship. Having experienced your share of conflict growing up in the middle, you may tend to steer clear of it at all costs but be sure to strike a balance and speak up when It matters.
Welcome to the family my new baby brother and fellow middle child, Mike!! With this last wedding you complete the Erickson girls who are now officially off the market.
To my baby sister Colleen, I love you with all my heart and you are my greatest confidant. With your marriage to Mike you have officially made everyone in our family feel very old....
Now everyone please raise your glasses....
To many many years of health and happiness and may you always remember the fun and excitement of today as long as you live!! To the Tavani's!
Now that you read it... you can hear it and judge my performance ;) If anyone did not run out of phone storage and has the second half of the speech, send it my way!
1) Youngest children resent not being taken seriously....
Even as a toddler she'd be sucking on her white wrinkled little thumb and snuggling her blankly and mom would say something to her in a baby voice and she'd cowl back "Duh!! Don't you think I don't know that?!"
2) Youngest children are the stereotypical "free spirit" types...
Colleen freely embraced the nickname "WEENER" from childhood into adulthood....
She went and got friendship tattoos with her buddies...
And she has a reputation of being very loose with planning ...As I compared notes with other bridesmaids and family members for this wedding, there was a common theme of "ok so you don't really know what's going on either". And it's not in a sense of neglect or intentional lack of communication... it's just details around planning that just aren't necessary or important to her. She has a lot of faith in things working out as they often do for her.
 |
| Even with having to move the ceremony indoors it still was absolutely breathtaking |
3) Parents are often less cautious with the youngest child...
For instance one of Colleen's first word was stuck... she was a baby and couldn't say much but when she'd wake up from a nap and she'd often yell "stuck"!...meaning "help mom my leg is trapped in the crib come get me out cause I know you are ignoring the baby monitor..."
I also have fond memories of feeding Colleen cookie-shaped dog food. You may think that makes me a horrible sister, but don't worry, I was eating them right there with her.
I was also right there with her when I coaxed her into sticking beads up her nose ...resulting in a causal emergency room visit....stuck....
4) Youngest children are the charmers and are naturally entertaining...
Colleen was always good at impressions growing up and always knew how to make us laugh... she always did a good Elvis impersonation... "Bebe" (said in Elvis accent).... she also had a good mother Theresa impression where she'd wrap her blanket around her head and say (in an old, squeeky high pitched voice)..."I, Mother Theresa, must save the children of Calcutta"... She also had an impression of mom which she must have picked up shortly after tax season...picking up a receipt of mom's and exclaiming "what the hell is this?!" (in mean mom voice)
When me and Bridget and Nancy grew up and moved on to college, Colleen still managed to entertain herself ... when she had no one to play with, she somehow managed to train the dog how to play hide and seek with her.
7) Parents are typically less rule oriented with the youngest...
When I got grounded I would have no phone, no TV, and no friends until the original agreed-to time had expired. When Colleen got grounded she would give mom the silent treatment and within a day or two had somehow guilted Mom to take her out shopping to buy her things...
She also managed to stay on Mom's car insurance and have Mom pay her phone bill way longer than the rest of us.. Although Mom just yesterday informed me that now Mom is on Colleen's phone plan... so Congratulations Mary Ellen!
And then there's Mike.....
We didn't know what to think of Mike at first.... We weren't sure how he would fit in... Judging by the rest the Erickson girls' choice of mate.... about 6 feet tall ... (insert crowd laughs)....and ever so slightly receding hairline... (zing!),.... Mike didn't exactly fit the physical mold..... Because Mike is what? just about 5'11 and three quarters? (he is not) and WOW that hair!! (Mike has awesome, jealous-able hair)
 |
| Note the beautiful hairline... |
Mike is a fellow middle child, like me. And us "middles" often get a bad rap for being the overshadowed, jealous, "that's not fair," black sheep types...But not Mike ( and not me either).
We have all the positive personality perks of middle children types, without the bad stuff...
1) Middle children are the social butterflies of the family
People are constantly at Mike's house and I feel like every time we go there we meet a new set of friends and leave thinking.. "wow those are really good, fun people." (should have thought of better adjectives... "good" and "fun" are understatements...) And he also maintains these life-long friends from all stages of life.
2) Middle children are team players
And with Mike it's not just on soccer field. When Mike started coming around to family gatherings he would always be pitching in, making a point to bring extra cigars for the guys, showing up at Thanksgiving with a deep fryer and cooking the turkey, showing up at Carstens' slip and slide baby's shower and breaking out the soap... ya know to make the slip and slide extra slippery....
3) Middle children have a lot of patience
We are used to having to wait our turn... and from a fellow middle child who also married a youngest child I can tell you this virtue comes in handy as these youngest child types are prone to losing keys, forgetting their phone or wallet, and generally running late to everything. Patience, my dear, patience....
4) Middle children are also very adventurous, and risk-taking.
Now what is more adventurous then marrying into a family full of women?!
Or buying a brand new house in the ghetto?
Or planning a wedding with a family full of women at the exact same time as buying a house in the ghetto all while adopting a pit bull puppy with an eating disorder?!
 |
| There he is... note: that couch no longer exists.... he ate it |
Now I'd like to offer Colleen and Mike some advice for your marriage based on your birth order (compliments of eharmony.com)
For Colleen...
As the baby in a relationship, your youngest child personality offers all sorts of fun and excitement. Throughout your marriage, Mike can always count on you to find spontaneous, unexpected ways to amp up the excitement. Always use your social skills for good; and be careful not to abuse your powers (i.e. do not take advantage of your middle child husband).
For Mike....
As a middle child you are well on your way to being a very good partner. Since middle children are the least likely to have been spoiled in any way, you are likely more willing to work hard to create a happy and meaningful relationship. Having experienced your share of conflict growing up in the middle, you may tend to steer clear of it at all costs but be sure to strike a balance and speak up when It matters.
 |
Welcome to the family my new baby brother and fellow middle child, Mike!! With this last wedding you complete the Erickson girls who are now officially off the market.
To my baby sister Colleen, I love you with all my heart and you are my greatest confidant. With your marriage to Mike you have officially made everyone in our family feel very old....
Now everyone please raise your glasses....
To many many years of health and happiness and may you always remember the fun and excitement of today as long as you live!! To the Tavani's!
 |
Now that you read it... you can hear it and judge my performance ;) If anyone did not run out of phone storage and has the second half of the speech, send it my way!
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