Sunday, May 26, 2013

The Midnight Baby Tamer

I recently played on a community soccer team with some of my co-workers who are married with a one year old baby boy.  Our games are every Friday night and one particular night we had a late game at 9pm.  My friends didn't want to bring their baby to the game because it would have been past the baby's bed time and they were having a hard time finding a baby sitter.  So I go ahead and volunteer my services.... I'll just have Trevor watch the baby for you!

Trevor and I head over to our friends' house before the game.  The baby has just gone to sleep for the night.  Easy peasy lemon cheesey.  Trevor gets the run down of instructions for the night:

Baby is asleep in his bed with a fresh diaper.

Baby will not wake up till we get back

Just sit in the living room and watch tv.

In the off chance the baby does wake up and starts fussing, just hold off and maybe he'll go back to sleep.  

If the baby starts crying for a while you can take him out of the crib and let him hang out.

If you can't get him to calm down he can watch tv.

My friends and I are off to our soccer game and leave Trevor alone to his baby-sitting duties.  Twenty minutes into his first infant baby sitting gig, the baby wakes up.  Baby starts fussing but not really crying.  Trevor lets him be.  Go back to sleeeeeep. Baby does not go back to sleep.  Baby starts crying....five minutes go by.  Baby starts crying louder.  Ten minutes go by... Time to get baby.

Trevor hesitantly slides open the bedroom door, sensitive to the fact that this baby who he has only met maybe three or four times in his life, probably has no idea who Trevor is, and is definitely not going to expect him to open the door when every other time that baby has cried in the night he was always greeted by the loving, beardless faces of his mommy and dada.

As Trevor opens the door the outside light shines on the poor disheveled baby's  face who is standing in his crib holding onto the rail with a face full of tears.  Trevor tries to sweetly console him from the doorway, "heeeeey baaaaaby, it's oooook. It's ok....."  The baby takes one look at Trevor, covers his sad eyes with his short toddler arms and drops to the mattress, throws his arms over his heads and ears, face down in his bed and doesn't make another peep.
So Trevor closes the door, and goes back to the couch with the Tv and a beer.  And within another fifteen minutes or so, the heavy breathing of baby snores is ringing through the baby monitor once again.


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