Tuesday, June 4, 2013

A Good ol' Wake 'n' Quake

The other day was  my sister's birthday.   The day started off like any other. My alarm went off around 6:45am, and like usual I was way too tired to move.  I pressed snooze about 15 times, until the alarm no longer responded to the snooze button and continued to go off constantly, getting louder and louder.  I eventually shut it off.  I dozed back off to sleep.  Then about five minutes later I awoke to my second, back up alarm.  I pressed snooze another two or three times, until Trevor started moving... Dang it, I better quit snoozing before I wake him up.  

I roll myself down to the bottom of the bed and silently stare at my dresser.  Yawn.  Stretch.  What to wear? What to wear? Pants? Skirt? Dress? Pants? Skirt? Dress?  I quietly ponder my options for the next 8 minutes or so.  I could wear my purple dress...but I only wear my purple dress with my black leggings.... and I wore my black legging yesterday.  Heck I'm still wearing my black leggings now.  What am I wearing now? Back leggings and a black sports bra.  I kinda look like some sort of ninja jazzercise instructor.

Then the garage door opens.  Trevor and I live in an apartment above a two car garage.  We have a theory that the woman who helps take care of our blind neighbors lives in the garage below us.  We think she pulls the car in at night to sleep and takes it out and parks it back in the driveway in the morning.    So for the garage door to open at this moment is not out of the ordinary.  Only something sounds wrong with the garage door opener.  It's super loud and noisy and it's not stopping.  Hmm, why's the whole house shaking? It could not be a train, we are not close to the tracks.   Hmm, is there an airplane about to crash into the house?  

Nope.  As Trevor chimes in and leaps out of bed "It's an earthquake!!!"  We huddle under the door frame and the shaking ceases relatively quickly.  Uh what to do next? 

 Trevor: "should we go outside?"

Me:  "yea, run!!"

We sprint through the other side of our garage-sized apartment and scurry down the stairs like we are Indian Jones and the temple of doom is collapsing behind us.  Huffing and puffing we make it to the outside world.  We are alive!  Outdoors!  Fresh air! We survived! Phew!  ....and now we are standing outside....alone....alive.... me in my ninja apparel....and Trev in his boxer shorts...Ok we can probably go back inside.

We assess the damage.  Two broken picture frames.  Looking around I am absolutely amazed what with all the junk that we have hoarded in this apartment, that two picture frames were the only things to fall over.  I mean look at this hallway of hell we've got going on here:

Well we got away with it unscathed this time, and hopefully there won't be a next time, but just in case, I went on a massive anti-hoarding campaign in the attic, the closet, the bookcase, and the stairwell (which also seconds as a master closet).

I went through so much junk and made big piles of things for the upcoming garage sale. But there are just too many precious memorabilia that I'm not ready to let go of.  I mean what if one day I have a daughter... She'll eventually be a teenager... And of course she'll be the coolest, weirdest teenager around, and will love all the things I love and will want to dress just like me.  She would be so mad at me for giving away all these cool things!

My Lord of the Rings Legolas shirt:

My sweet ripped jeans which I bought without a single hole or stain on them
earned every one of them

This kinda lame shirt:

BUT it's signed by the whole band, American Hi Fi

"She's just the flavor of the weeeeeek"

My Raritan High School Powder Puff football game jersey:

I was so hard core

Of course, the shirt I made for Trevor on our first Valentine's day:


These really awesome Tommy Hilfiger striped pants:

 My super-stylin' "New Kids on the Block" hat:

My bear wrestling team shirt:

How could I get rid of my Saved by the Bell teen hearthrob shirt:

This is a vintage gem!

This one is just funny:

This one's just too cute:

 Cause I've had these guys since 7th grade:
and even though the elastic is so stretched out that they're too big... it's not too say that I won't grow back into them someday...

This ones always fun to wear:
and was a present from Trevor
Annnnd  some other random crap I also cannot let go of.....

A seat belt belt that I have NEVER worn but have ALWAYS wanted:

 My "Happy Feel Good" tape from March 1998, that I found only after the cassette player in the car broke.

But I know when I get around to buying a new cassette player, this tape is going to make me feel so happy and good....or old and awful.

 A DISCMAN!!!!!  Holy crap I didn't even know we had one of these we cannot get rid of this!!!!!

Macho Man Randy Savage:
I'll never let you go

And... a life size Yao Ming:

too good not to have

Hoarders for life!!!  Watch me have some sort of straight-laced angel child whose favorite color is white...


bill said...

you've inspired me.. http://onthebill.blogspot.com/

how much for the spongebob shirt by the way.. :)

Anonymous said...

Dibs on the orangutan shirt!!!1

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