Wood You Try to Pay for This?

We had a nice little Nor'easter storm this weekend which knocked down trees and took out power lines and left most of our county with no electricity.  We were lucky enough to have partial power for most of the weekend, so some of our lights worked dimly but we had to shut of the major appliance that require full power like the well water pump and the water heater. So we did not have any heat.

Luckily we have a wood burning stove which heats the house pretty darn well, but unfortunately we just recently used up the last of our good wood.  We have a pile outside but after the crazy storm where rain and snow were coming in at all angles, the logs were all totally soaked.

So we set out in search of wood.  We head towards our grocery store and notice that every single house, business, and traffic light along the way is completely dark.  Not a good sign.  The grocery store is closed.  The diner next to it, however, is open.  So we head in for a bite to eat and to figure out our next move.  Walmart has online ads selling wood for $3 a bundle so we finish eating and drive up to Flemington to stock up.  The good news is Walmart is open; the bad news is they are out of firewood.  We buy something called a "java log" which is like wood, in the shape of a log, but smells like coffee. That'll help right?

We then head over to the Shop Rite, our last bet for firewood.  We enter the store and scour the area where we would suspect firewood to be, but there's nothing.  Crap.   Over in the floral section we see a manager behind the counter.  We ask him if he knows if they have any firewod left.  He replies that aisle 10 is where it usually is, but that he's pretty sure they just have a package or two of kindling left; no firewood bundles.  Trevor and I look at each other with the "darn-it-that's-not-going-to-help-us much" face.  The Shop Rite manager then goes on to say "Well, but I do have some out back in my truck.... if you guys are ok waiting for a few minutes I could go get it..."

To which I immediately exclaim "Awesome!  YES!  We will take whatever we can get!"

Trevor and I do not discuss our misunderstandings at the time, although he tells me later that he was a bit surprised at how quickly and how excitedly I responded to his offer.  We wait and wait in silence for this manager to finish what he is doing, call someone on his walkie talkie, and then wander off out back to "his truck."  As a manager in a Shop Rite during work hours, I understand his offer to mean that he is going out back to his Shop Rite truck to find the last remaining inventory of the store's wood that we can then buy like normal customers.  Trevor understands his offer to mean that he is a friendly guy with his own pickup truck out back and his own personal stash of wood that he is going to give us.... for free... cause he is just a nice guy...

Trevor asks if I have some cash, and mentions we should give him something.  I am thinking "Sure, I have a $20 bill; we can pay for the wood in cash and get change back so we have a few extra bucks to give him for his efforts in finding us the last remaining bits of wood."

Several minutes later, the guy comes back with a store cart containing two wrapped bundles of wood.  Trevor offers him the whole twenty dollar bill and the man declines "Oh no, I couldn't accept that."  I am thinking Trevor's either trying to give this guy a twenty dollar tip, or is trying to pay the guy right there for the wood.  Both seem equally inappropriate to me... twenty dollars is a lot for a tip, and tipping is kind of weird in grocery stores to begin with so of course the man would not accept....or if Trevor is trying to pay the man for the wood, of course the man cannot take cash right there in the middle of the floral department, he has to ring it up at the cash register and give you a receipt like a normal grocery store transaction, and that's probably not his job, that's what the cash register people are for!  Either way I am slightly relieved the man does not accept the cash. 

Trevor grabs the cart of wood and heads right for the exit.  Appalled, I ask him "Where do you think you're going?! We still have to pay for the wood!"  To which he replies, stunned... "Uuuhhhh I am pretty sure that guy just gave it to us."  The thought never crossed my mind.... "Ummm nooo I am pretty sure the man just got it for us, but we still have to pay for it!!!!  We can't leave a store without paying, that's stealing!"  Confused and unsure, but not wanting to risk burglary charges, but pretty sure there are no burglary charges, Trevor turns the cart around to head for the register line to give my theory a try. 

I throw a bag of oranges in the cart because now I am hungry.   But now I am also second guessing myself.  Trevor's pretty smart, how could he think it is ok to just walk out the store with a cart full of wood that we did not pay for.  Did I miss something?  As we get closer to the row of cash registers, we see our generous manager friend who went and got the wood for us.  We give a friendly "Thanks-again!" wave and he sees us heading for the cash register and springs into action. 

MOMENT OF TRUTH.

He grabs a wad of bright orange "PAID" stickers from the closest cash register and places a sticker on each of the wood bundles and explains "I just want to make sure they don't give you any trouble at checkout...."

DAMNIT, TREVOR WAS RIGHT!!

And now we have to wait on line to pay for this damn bag of oranges!  The wait seems like eternity as I rehash how wrongly I interpreted things... I excitedly stole this guy's wood, I got annoyed when Trevor tried to tip him too much, and then I flaunted our free wood throughout the store, we freaked out the generous man who gave us the wood, and now we are about to confuse the hell out of some young little cash register attendant just so we could also get a friggin bag of oranges!  On the bright side, we 100% avoided any possible shoplifting accusations.

The attendant luckily sees the bright orange PAID stickers and does not question the wood.  We pay for the oranges as I want to melt into the floor and puke with embarrassment and self-disappointment.  We discuss the whole episode on the way back to the car.  Trevor honestly wants to know... "What exactly were you thinking?"  I do not know; I misread the ENTIRE situation from start to finish. 

It is 9:45pm, we are cold, tired, we head to the beer store right before closing, and then head home....  happy that there are nice, generous people in the world, but disappointed that I cannot pick them out when they are right in front of my face doing nice, generous deeds...  Also happy to have firewood and a cozy, warm house again.... 

Although by the time we get home, the power is already back to normal...  sooooo we'll just have to save that nice man's wood for the next power outage... doh!