Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Holy Moly I've Got Sticky Fingers (and other time wasters)

Someone made this comment on facebook:

"(I)  think blogs are the biggest waste of time ever... Nobody cares what other people think or are doing!"

It actually made me feel bad for a brief second.  Why do I write these posts?  Does anyone really care about what I have to say?  My mom cares, I guess.   Should I be doing something better with my time?  Am I a big blogging loser?!

I thought about it a little more and got really mad at this comment......

First off, the author of this comment once sat on and broke my hot-pink-zebra-print-sunglasses, and never apologized.... This was 11 years ago.  I do not hold grudges but I do count tabs... Strike 1.

Secondly, if you think no one cares about what others have to say, what makes you think people care about what you have to say on facebook?!  Call it a blog, call it a "status update" or a tweet or whatever, it's all the same thing.   And if you say don't like it, then why are you doing it?  Get off it. 

Thricely (?) or Thirdly,  the truth is that people really do care about what other people are doing even if all they are doing is complaining or wasting time.   People love reality TV shows, and facebook, and twitter and blogs.   They love calling and texting and e-mailing and gossiping.... 

I would dare to say that the only things people actually care about are the thoughts and actions of other people.

SO hopefully if you're reading this, I won't have to convince you that this blog isn't a waste of time.   Because let's face it, we are just trying to entertain each other here. Welcome to life. 

Here is your post for the day....

Q: What do you call a blind rodent that joins the priesthood?

A: Holy Moly

That joke was inspired by my dermatologist who diligently removed a mole from my stomach as I tried to hold my breath to prevent the scalpal from slipping and slicing the wrong area...suspenseful, I know.  I love local anesthesia though, I didn't feel a thing.   The worst part is a few days later when it doesn't hurt and is starting to heal and with the healing process becomes itchy.  But it's on your stomach and you don't usually have cuts on your stomach and your not in pain or thinking about it anymore so when you feel the itch you give it a nice big scratch! realize what you've done as the scab is partway under fingernail and sends a shiver of yick-eek-yuck down your spine....bleeding again.  Yum.  Hole-y mole-y. 

Aside from the minor health issue,  the other exciting news of the week is that we have upgraded the apartamento...

Trading out the foof:

For a new piano!
..well it is new to us at least... Gotta love that craigslist!

The foof is being stored at an off-site location and we do have visitation rights, but to be honest... I don't miss it all that much.  But don't tell the foof that.

When I was little I had one favorite stuffed animal.   I remember never wanting to say which one was my favorite because I didn't want the other stuffed animals to feel neglected.  At night I would sleep with every stuffed animal I owned tucked under my arms.

I also slept in the un-furnished, concrete-floored, cricket-infested basement for a month in a tent made out of cardboard boxes and a nest made of blankets and sleeping bags.  It was during this time that I taught myself origami.  True story.

Another true story for you:   About 5 months ago I broke a ceramic bowl.  I proceeded to leave it on the counter for the entire summer and fall until on Sunday while cleaning up shop, I finally decided to proactively go to CVS, buy superglue, and attempt to put it back together.  I had three of the largest pieces glued in place and pressed them firmly together for the recommended 30-40 seconds before I realized that both my hands were completely, firmly, and securely anchored to the bowl.  I've glued fingers to fingers before and it was never this bad.  The next 30 minutes consisted of a very bored Julie standing in the kitchen with my hands in a sink full of hot bubbly water.  Are they still stuck?  Yep, they're still stuck.... 5 minutes later.....Are they still stuck? Owww YES,  Julie they're still stuck..... I thought about smashing the bowl so at least I would be able to move my fingers even if they still had just a tiny piece of ceramic stuck to the tips.  My first action once I got my hands freed?  .....chucked that bowl in the trash.  I no longer have fingerprints on 3 of my fingers.

I leave you, my dear friends, with an encouraging Butterscrotch update:

He is alive!  and is looking much healthier.  His scalp has healed over completely and the fur on his head has grown back.   Everyday when I get home he greets me at the driver side door of the car, walks with me to the mailbox, then walks with me to the side door. 

He is not allowed in the house and I never touch him with my hands.  These things are mutually understood.   If we're both feeling up to it, he will sometimes roll over on his back and I'll occasionally give him a little belly scratch with a hand rake. 

When we had the piano movers come by on Sunday, we had moved some things outside to make room.  The indoor rug has since become the outdoor rug after Butterscrotch claimed it.  At one point during the move one of the movers knelt down and started petting and snuggling up to Butterscrotch saying, "Aww what a cute little kitty..."

In my head I was thinking... "I wouldn't touch that cat if I were you....."


Joshua said...

Pent-up penguin rage = angry blog post + a new piano.

Evan said...

Nice piano! You made the right decision. You got a good head on your shoulders, and Trevor's ain't all bad neither.

Valeeeeek said...

Can't think of a better waste of my time!

Jerry Lee Lewis said...

Who's gonna play this old piano?

Nancy said...

Haha. Good post. I cracked up a few times. :)

Post a Comment