Friday, June 3, 2011

Facebook Depression Turned Therapy Session

It's Friday night.  It's 9:51pm.  Trevor just came home from school but is still working on a paper for an indeterminate amount of time.  I have been online shoe shopping for 3+ hours and every so often I've gotten off the couch to butter up another piece of pumpernickel bread and grab another beer.  Having another lazy Friday.  I finally convinced myself to write something.  I'm not in a writing mood because I'm not in too good a mood.  Usually when that happens, I'll think about trying to write, open up the laptop, realize I can't think of anything worth writing, and drown myself in facebook posts. 

Facebook was recently in the news for what mental health enthusiasts are calling "facebook depression."  A condition that occurs because insecure, highly impressionable tweens go on facebook and see everyone's photos of people having fun, or that so and so has x many more friends, or x many more photos, or x many more tags or pokes, and they think their life is just so miserable because their happiness and popularity doesn't measure up.   Well I don't know who they're friends with because after rummaging through some recent facebook posts, I actually feel a bit better about my I-have-no-reason-to feel-bad-but-I-do-anyway miserable self.   According to facebook, I'm not the only one having an off day.  Here are some of my friend's recent facebook posts for you:

"Shout out to the greasy sloth too lazy to waddle her fat into the bank and instead held up the drive through for 15 minutes. I.hate.people"

"PMS + morning commute down 287/parkway = NO GOOD"
"blacking out used to lead to hilarious stories. it still does (why oh why did I shower with all of my clothes on??), but for the first time, i'm kind of concerned :/"
"Are you kidding?? Rt 37 on Friday it's only 3:00 people can't you let us locals get home before you invade!!!"
"I want to rip my uterus out of my body and slam it against the wall." 
" I went ape on 2 old ladies in Kohl's today. They made a comment about being in the women's large section, said we don't belong here like some people while looking at me. I walked over and said well you old hags your section is a few miles down at Fairview Cemetary which by the looks of it you will be there pretty soon."
"The next person I see at the supermarket that leaves their shopping cart in the parking lot instead of walking it back to where it belongs is getting punched in the   throat"
 And just when I think we're all a bunch of miserable dumps and I come across this one:
"Today I:
Finally made it out of Afghanistan.
Sat on a human-butt-sized toilet.
Used a real white paper towel.
Took a hot shower.
...Drank real milk.
Drank a beer (hours apart from the milk).
Saw local contractors clean a bathroom without using the same mop for the showers, toilets, floors, and sinks.
I ♥ you, Kyrgyzstan. You make me feel like I'm actually on my way home... A few more days to go!"
..... and I was complaining about what exactly?  A lack of something to do on a Friday night?  Yea, life isn't all that bad. 
Turning to the news..... there is a 30% chance of rain this weekend and it is ALL over the TV.  Other top stories include: the local high school girls softball team is playing in the championship game... And all the hotels in Santa Barbara are completely booked gearing up for the UCSB graduations (no Trevor is not graduating this year).  And the top headliner:  two giraffes have been separated at the local zoo because zookeepers do not want them to mate due to "genetic incompatabilities."  The female giraffe decided she would not take her birth control pills so they were isolated to prevent unwanted pregnancy.  However, zookeepers were able to get her to eat her "medicine" after they wrapped it in lettuce.  The story ends happily ever after with the two giraffes being reunited in their normal cages.  wow.
For Al, although I didn't get a picture of Trevor falling down hung over in his elf outfit....this was him the night before:
It's 11:03, Trevor has completed said paper.  Time to party.  Happy Friday.... don't let Facebook get you down...


lori erickson said...

You know, part of the fun in reading your blogs is the ads that come up at the bottom. Today we have "Tub & Shower Enclosures", "Depression Treatment", and "Get Walk-In Bathtubs". What? no beer ads????

AL said...

Thanks, that outfit is a real winner.
Lexine & Bryan will get married June 2 2012!

Nancy said...

Yay Lexine and Bryan!!! What about Julie and Trevor???!

Bridget said...

awwwww great post Jul!!

Heather said...

bahhahaha, %95 of those posts are from my page. Sorry, I take my PMS out on facebook.

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