Thursday, December 1, 2011

Cause I'm Freakin [out] on a Jet Plane

Prepping for international travel...Arriving at the international terminal at the Los Angeles airport I stumble into a Chinese-speaking lady and mumble, "unskyld,"  which is Danish for "excuse me"... getting ready...warming up...losing it... 

I climb aboard the gigantic two story airplane that somehow flies!?  I still don't understand how airplanes work.  I find my seat...row 85, yes 85...aisle seat, phew.  I can hear a dog barking down below the floor.  Poor dog.  I wonder which one is his owner.  They must feel terrible.  I feel terrible.

Safety instructions...."We know you're more than capable of operating a safety belt, but here are a few tips on how it works" ...  much less insulting than on non-American airlines, at least they acknowledge they are not trying to teach you something new...

Now everyone's seated.  Waiting.  The captain comes on the speaker system announcing they are re-fueling the gas tanks and reminds every one to please remain seated without their seat belts fastened. "I repeat please do not fasten your seat belts until the refueling process is finished"....  Well that's an ominous warning.   For some reason I don't think whether or not me having my set belt on or off would help or hurt my chances of surviving if this plane were to explode right now...

An hour later the pilot announces they have successfully filled the tank up with 224 tons of gas.  I think I heard him wrong but I'm pretty sure that's what he said.  --Fact checking is encouraged-- How are you going to get 224 tons off the ground?  And that's just the fuel?  He then signifies it is safe to put on your seat belt.  I cannot stop thinking about the plane exploding.  Wonder how big of an explosion 224 tons of jet fuel would cause?  Would I die instantly? I hope so. Don't think about dying... cannot stop thinking about dying... this is the end... why did I do this?

These new fancy planes have individual TVs for each seat where you can watch movies, play games, read the news etc.  You can also watch live camera footage of the plane from the sky camera placed on the top of the plane's tail.  Every time I turned on the skycam I kept thinking I was going to see a wing fall off or another plane crash into us, or a goose get sucked into the engines.  Cannot stop looking for causes of death. Turn off skycam. If I'm going to die, I don't want to see it coming.  Order a ginger beer and vodka.  Turn on Lord of the Rings....Sleep is upon me.

23 hours after I left my house, I arrive at my hotel in Melbourne, Australia. 

Then went for a walk to explore this new city...
Carlten Gardens





 Federation Square... where all the cool kids hang out:

Cricket stadium in the distance:

 Glass fish:

Opera house:


South beach:

 Crewin' in muddy waters:

Al, are you Australian?  This isn't the first guy I've seen here who reminded me of you...

View from the hotel:


lori erickson said...

I'm glad you didn't die. And how fun is that to see the sunny skies of Oz on the first day of summer?

Nancy said...

The sky looks awesome!

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