Friday, December 9, 2011

The End of Oz

Australia is like the little bitter independent teenage sister of the UK, always trying to get out of her "angel child" sister's shadow.  Whatever the UK does, Australia does the opposite.  The UK ties their shiny white shoelaces nice and tight and Australia puts in black laces, shaves their heads and puts on a spiked collar...just because.

 The UK criminalizes prostitution.  Australia makes it legal.  The UK restricts gambling practices.  In Australia there is a casino or some sort of sports betting place on every block.  In the UK they play rugby on a rectangular field, the players can't pass backwards, and there is a limit on substitutions.  In Australia anything goes:  they use an oval field, players can pass the ball whenever they like, and would you be surprised that they have no limits on substitution?

But try as they might, they still have a very polite British accent when they come to their street signs:

"Consider vehicles following" ....that's nice

"Do not overtake"  ok

"Make Way"

"Way out"  = Exit

"Drink, drive, bloody idiot"

And even thought both Brits and Aussies speak "English,"  they really aren't always speaking the same language.  Here are some other Aussie to British translations:

Warning: take 'em with a grain of salt or a shot of tequila... I got them from a bookmark:

G'day mate____Pleased to meet your acquaintance

You little rippert_____Words of praise fail me

Fair dinkum____ Of course I'm telling the truth

Pull ya head in____ You may be correct in your assertion but shut up

Bloody oath!_______I'm in total agreement with you

Howya going?____ May I enquire about your welfare

Give it a go ya mug!____ Are you perhaps incapable of performing this act?

Your shout_____If you value your well-being you should buy the next drink

You Drongo_____ You rather dimwitted person

Rack off____ your presence is no longer required

Wanna cuppa?_____Would you care for some tea?

Go and tart yourself up____Please dress in your best clothes

The old man's shot through_____My husband's left town

Don't get your knickers in a knot_____Don't upset yourself

What's the latest goss? ____ Any juicy news?

Grouse lippy_____ What a nice shade of lipstick

And one of the best things about Australia... traveling as far away as you've ever been, and realizing thought facebook that you have friends just around the corner..

Get stuffed bitch_____Leave whenever you like

How ya goin' luv?____ I hope you are feeling well

Shut ya gob____  Tell someone who cares

Don't crap on _____ Aren't you exaggerating?


Post a Comment