Sunday, December 12, 2010

Who Scalped Butterscrotch?

Trevor:  Did you see Butterscrotch today?

Me: No why?

Trevor: Just curious.  He had something funny going on with his head.  Like there was some big white thing in between his ears.  I think it might have been his skull showing...

Me: What the heck?!

Sure enough Butterscrotch came a knocking the next night and what was ripely white the night before was now a bloody, pussy ear-to-ear open wound atop his dirty little head.  Ah our poor little, fake pet cat.  Some days he's losing his hair.  Some days he walks with a limp.  Some days he has fleas jumping in his ears and nose.  Some days his ribs show more than others.  Lately he's been plumping up and someone put a collar on him, so someone's gotta be taking care of him....  but what the heck ate the skin off his head?!  What a pathetic little animal.

Later in the week Trevor and I went out to dinner and then to see the comedian, Brian Regan, at the Arlington Theater.  Trevor forgot his wallet so I paid for the meal.  We were at the theater a half hour early so were contemplating whether or not to head to a local bar for a drink to kill some time or head in early to the show and get our seats.   For lack of a nearby bar we gave up the alcohol and headed in early....Only to be pleasantly surprised that they have recently opened up an outdoor patio bar at the theater.  How convenient...

The bouncers immediately turn Trevor away for not having his ID.. But, luckily his sweet-talking girlfriend was able to save the day because, come on bouncer dude, if I'm 27 years old do you really think this guy is younger than 21?!  Have you ever seen an underage guy with as much facial hair as this man?  Yea, I didn't think so.  We both made it through the gate and headed over to the bar.  We'll take 2 Amstel Lights,  please and thank you.  The bartender lady pops the bottle tops and hands over the goods.  That will be $10.  No problem, here's my credit card.  Sorry, honey, this is a cash only establishment.  Ok dokes, well, crap, I only have $9. Uhhhhhh   Trevor interjects, well ok, we'll just get one beer then.  The lady looks at us like we're special.  At this point I am a stuttering muttering mess, apologizing out the wahzoo for not having any money.  The lady took pity on our poverty and just handed over the other bottle for free. Oh just take it, I can't sell it without the cap on anyway.  Thanks Lady!

I ended up finding an ATM and tried to give the lady the $5 I owed her.  But she said no, that's ok.  I think her exact words were "seriously, honey, we're cool."  We are cool.


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