Thursday, December 23, 2010

Why I Hate Christmas

3 Reasons Why:

1) Jingle bells
2) The Little Drummer Boy
3) Silent Night

Just kidding.  Those songs aren't all that bad.  But they are pretty terrible in Holiday TV commercials.  And don't even get me started with all those diamond and jewelry commercials....  "Every kiss begins with BARF!" is more like it.

Ahhh the holidays...  I don't really  hate them.  But certain things about them make my heart beat a bit faster...buying presents, going to parties, parties, potlucks and more parties, eating sweets, planning, packing, procrastinating.... There's a lot going on.  It's a tough time.  But just give me the Harry Connick, Jr Christmas album, a bottle of rum and soy nog, and a plate full of sugar cookies and I'll make it through.

Trevor and I did our holiday shopping last weekend. Luckily, we did most of it online and earlier this month so presents should arrive in Colorado, Texas, and South Dakota on time.  We'll bring the New Jersey presents in our suitcase (and pray it doesn't get lost for 2 months!).

This year and most recently in the past couple months, I've become quite handy with my sewing machine.  So I came up with this great idea to hand-make dolls for the nieces and nephews.  Not just any ol' dolls tho.... Uncle Trevor and Aunt Julie dolls!  I went out to the craft store and bought cloth paper.  Printed out pictures of me and Trevor.  Cut out our faces. Sewed them into an old bathrobe. And  VWHALLA: Uncle Trevor and Aunt Julie dolls!....


Ok, so the dolls obviously did not work out as planned.  On the bright side at least we now have a present for our third wheel, Kevin....  On the down side.....

Trevor!  We need to do more shopping!

To give you an overview of our shopping habits.... I am the type of person who has a list and is on a mission.  I will write multiple lists. I will write lists of my lists.  But by the time I get to the store, I usually can't find any of them!  I think writing them down multiple times at least helps me remember the material.  I have a layout of the shopping mall in my head and I know what store I want to start at, and what sequence of stores I want to go in, and what I want to get who, and where.  Got it?  I won't eat, drink, sit, or sleep until I can check off every item on that list. 

Trevor, on the other hand,  is more of the 'I'll think of it when I get there' and 'I don't care where we go' type of shopper.  How refreshing.  I will be running around Marshall's like a wild woman combing the asiles for my items, frustrating myself to the high heavens when I can't find them, thinking of new ideas, forgetting the old ones, re-visiting the old ideas, indecisively weighing the old ideas vs. the new ones, realizing neither idea is a really good idea, then finally Giving Up!!!!

I need help!  Where's Trevor?!

Oh, there he is... He's found a lovely leather love seat in the furniture section and is checking out his iphone.

Me: "Ahh I don't know what to do!"

Trevor:  "Just get that."

Me: "Ok. Done. Thank you." 

Buying  presents for Trevor is even more of an anxiety attack in a box. (is that a common phrase? maybe it should be), because I can't go to him for advice if I want it to be a surprise.  We buy each other surprise presents all year round without cause or reason.  But the holidays adds that extra pressure that ok, now you have to get him a really big, everything-he's-always-wanted-and-more surprise!! But right now, I don't have anything in mind. I don't want to get him a shirt.  Or slippers. Or a beard trimmer or DVDs.   I had a couple bigger things in mind, but I also wanted to get his opinion before buying them.  But then that would ruin the surprise!  And I would also need him to lift it.  Plus I see him all the time, how would I hide it?  Grrr.

My one idea for instance, was a nice chair.  The boy loves school and so is very fond of his computer.  What I'm getting at here is he that spends a lot of time at his desk.  At home, we use a yoga ball as a desk chair or sometimes substitute it for the kitchen chair (a wrought iron frame with a makeshift cushion).  But he could use a nice lumbar-supportive office chair.  He is a big man in a little man's world.  He needs his back support.  A nice office chair would be a large, hard-to-hide, and slightly more expensive type of gift.  It's a big one.  I would want to get it right and get it right the first time....  But how do I get him to pick one out without letting him know I want to buy it for him....

We get to the shopping mall.  We go into Borders.  Trevor makes me wait in the children section and tells me he has to go get something and to stay put and not look around.  Looks like I'm getting something from Borders in my stocking...  Then we head over to the Sports Authority which is right next to Staples.  So I suggestively throw out the line, "Hey since we're here, why not just stop by Staples and see if they have any nice sales on office chairs?"  I make sure to emphasize "We don't have to get one today,  but maybe just look...?  ya know since we're here...?"  ..........bait not taken. 

Trevor: "Ehh no. Let's just do christmas shopping and go home."   Dangit.

Okkkkkk, forget about the office chair.  Need a new idea.  Next store: Sports Authority.  Scouring camping section for new gifts I come across this chair:

History: we were at a beach wedding in the Outer Banks, NC this past September and the Best Man had this chair at the beach party and Trevor was soooooo jealous!  Trevor detests the sun. He burns easily, the light hurts his baby blue eyes, and a day at the beach results in one energy depleted Trevor.  He'd much rather take a cool, overcast rainy day any day.  And so I knew he would love this chair.

Yes, I will get him this chair.

He's walking past the chair.  I know he's going to see it and be so excited.  I can't help but point it out.  And I was right.  He was so excited.  So excited that "Hey let's just get it right now!" .... "We might as well." .... "We've been meaning to get one."....  "We're here. It's here.  Let's just get it now."  .....AHHHHH

Me: 'Trev, I think we should just get things for other people and focus on the presents we set out to buy.' (AHHHH--How do I get him to give up on the chair?!)

Trev: "Well I just thought we've always said we would get a chair like this if we saw it and now we have.  It's here, we're here.  It just makes sense to get it now.  Come on, you wanted to go to Staples for a chair that we hadn't set out to buy..."

Me:  (Out of ideas...and out of energy to think of a way to trick him out of buying it without staight up telling him I will buy it for him but I want it to be a surprise.... grrrrrrr...... there's no way out....) "Fine, just get the chair then!"

When you are around someone all the time, you could probably guess what they want to surprise you with anyway.  If we didn't get the chair then, Trevor could have a fairly educated guess that that's what I got him.  Or at least he wouldn't be as surprised when he opened it up.  Surprises are hard when you know the other person knows what you want (think about it a little bit).  So after finishing shopping for our friends and families we decided we are not going to try to surprise each other this year.  Instead we will focus our efforts and finances into getting a piano.

Of course, once we give up on surprises I find out that this guy (see below) is playing at the Chumash Casino (just 20 minutes from our house) the week after New Years, so of course I got us tickets! 


Merry Christmas Everyone!!  from Willie


Trevor said...

I like this one.

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